In my dream, it wasn’t until my live debut as the new Jesus Lizard guitarist that I realized I don’t know how to play any of their songs.

Wide awake after begging the fry cook to guarantee that an aggressive customer’s chicken fingers would be tender and juicy so GOOD MORNING

Woke up and checked that my knuckles had not actually been bloodied on a concrete wall while waiting in line at a hellscape of a Whole Foods

The sitcom in my dream: When I accidentally kill 2 of the teens who broke my window, I adopt the 3rd, played by current-day Macaulay Culkin.

My dream didn’t quite accuse the government of engineering a hurricane to bankrupt the acclaimed rapper Nelly, but the implication was there