Review

Marc Bolan doesn’t deserve this.

When it’s not succumbing to self-consciously unhinged improv exercise, this is something like a feature-length maximalist update of Bruce Nauman’s Clown Torture for the reality TV age. The editor is unquestionably the MVP.

Not sure I’ve seen this since its original theatrical run, and the extra 30 minutes Tarantino added really weigh it down, but there’s still no arguing with that finale.

Nice youth culture time capsule with lots of great music, muddled by the curious inclusion of a superfluous murder mystery.

Soul Glo isn’t really my thing, but I’m not gonna tell you they didn’t burn the place down. Mannequin Pussy, not so much.

Frontwoman Marisa Dabice isn’t an especially clever lyricist, and it’s easy enough to get past when listening to the band’s records, whose sonics are more about feeling than thinking. But while the records are mercifully absent overt speechifying, this show sadly was not, and Mannequin Pussy’s emotion-to-intellect ratio is a poor fit… See more →

Maybe the most unpleasant thing I’ve ever seen. Pair with Come and See for the most upsetting double feature imaginable.

Last night I watched Anatomy of a Fall and tonight I watched this. Cinema is so much.

I made a Spotify playlist of the Love God soundtrack. Only a little over half of the songs in the film are available on Spotify, but it’s still 81 minutes of music!

I loved watching Lloyd Bridges slither all over this thing, but even if I agree with the message, I could do without the “yellow journalism bad, due process good” sanctimony of the final act.

This goes way harder than I expected, and is a significant improvement on 1947’s similar Brute Force.

On this, my third viewing, I realized that Sophie is funding her revenge activities with the cash her dad gave her so she could avoid eating on campus with the plebes.

I only found out about the Philadelphia Organ Festival the day before it started, and I’m so glad I did. I wish I could have attended more events, but if I could only make it to one, this one, “The Organ’s Modern Touch: Minimalism and Contemporary Works” was at the top of my list.

This festival being devoted to the organ, video screens were set up at either side of the sanctuary, one showing the… See more →

Bailed after 13 minutes. It’s cool that the recent animated Spider-Man movies are inspiring others to step away from the stale Pixar template, but Mutant Mayhem’s aesthetic isn’t nearly as compelling, and as much as I loved TMNT as a kid, it turns out I don’t need an umpteenth iteration.

The magnitude of Don Henley’s and Glenn Frey’s egos is inversely proportionate to how thoroughly boring they are, as musicians and as people, and this documentary’s biggest strength is its apparently unintentional spotlight on that phenomenon. As they pay breathless homage to every minute detail of the Eagles’ bland existence, there is genuine suspense to be had in wondering if any self-awareness will ever creep into the proceedings. (Spoiler: It will not.) When Joe Walsh… See more →

I’ll begin by briefly weighing in on five of the most prominent pieces of the 2023 zeitgeist, at least from where I was sitting. Some cynical vibes ahead, so feel free to skip past this part if you’re not in the mood for negative energy:

• Taylor Swift: Gen Z’s version of Beatlemania is a bit of a head-scratcher for me, since I find Taylor Swift’s music to be entirely unremarkable, but that didn’t stop her… See more →

thanks obama

I can’t say I’ve ever seen a worse idea better documented.

This whole thing is shot from the POV of Philip Marlowe, which is a bold choice, but it doesn’t work, especially since this is the most belligerent version of Marlowe I’ve ever seen. Probably my least favorite Chandler adaptation, though the one saving grace is that it lets you spend a lot of time with Audrey Totter staring directly into your eyes.

It seems to me that the most interesting aspect of the QAnon phenomenon is the extreme mass hysteria, and that therefore the most urgent question, by far, is “How are this many people this stupid?” This docuseries does not ask that question. What it does ask, over and over again, is “Who is Q?” And among the Trump era’s endless parade of grifters, opportunists, and self-satisfied keyboard warriors, I simply do not give a shit… See more →

Despite the fatalism and the hardboiled dialogue, Brute Force is more of a melodrama than the noir I expected, which wouldn’t necessarily be a problem if it were better written. I’m onboard with the film’s dim view of American prisons prioritizing punishment over rehabilitation, which I gather was an uncommon criticism for 1947, but its habit of nakedly editorializing via the monologues of its prison doctor—sometimes looking directly into the camera—make it feel like a… See more →

Incredibly funny until it decides not to be.

Late last year, my friend Jon (without an h) told me his high school buddy John (with an h) was putting together a band to play Misfits and Danzig tunes for Porchella, the annual Halloween band crawl in Irvington, the town in New York’s Hudson Valley where John lives. John on drums and Jon on guitar. Did I want in? As anyone who has ever spent more than five seconds with me knows, fronting a… See more →

This is the most utterly baffling expression of human creativity I have ever seen.

Completely lazy script, but astonishing execution, which unexpectedly has me wondering if this whole screenlife shtick actually has legs? Next stop: Searching.

Tobin Bell’s lucid stoicism, facile as its moralizing may be, has always been the Saw series’ biggest strength, and after nearly two decades of coolly calculated carnage, Saw X finally puts his Jigsaw front and center with the full antihero treatment. Taking place between the events of Saw and Saw II, this one is uncharacteristically patient and character-driven, and by the time the stage is set for the the latest round of mayhem, Jigsaw’s victims… See more →

A second try at a whodunit, and the most competent script in the series to date, though also the most conventional, which makes it pretty easy to solve (I’m not usually good at murder mysteries, but I cracked this one fast). Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson bring some real personality to the franchise for the first time, though the former doesn’t know quite what to do when he’s not cracking wise. This is Darren… See more →

In the beginning of Saw V, it’s established that Jigsaw is 52 years old, and maybe the fact that he looks considerably older can be chalked up to his chemotherapy and years of disemboweling people. But at a certain point in Jigsaw, the eighth film in the franchise, we see the character a few years before that, presumably when he was in his late 40s, with no attempt made to disguise the fact that the… See more →

Saw 3D begins with a notable first for the series: a scene shot on location (outside Roy Thomson Hall in Toronto) in broad daylight with hundreds of extras, Jigsaw’s first trap in a public place and built for spectators. After countless hours of watching his victims get disassembled in dim, dilapidated industrial environs (I’ve often wondered about the health of Saw City’s commercial real estate market), this scene is literally a breath of fresh air.… See more →

Halfway through this interminable series, I assumed its best days (which were not great!) were behind it, so imagine my surprise that Saw VI may actually be the high water mark! After editing all the previous installments, Kevin Greutert moved to the director’s chair for this one, and he appears not to have micromanaged the new editor (Andrew Coutts), because the obnoxious, spastic editing style of old has been dramatically toned down, as has the… See more →

When Saw co-creator Leigh Whannell handed writing duties for the series over to Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan after Saw III, the duo envisioned a trilogy for the next three films, and Saw IV stormed out of the gate laying the groundwork and expanding the mythology. The expansion continues with Saw V, but first-time director David Hackl slows the pace, alternating focus between this episode’s cannon fodder and the origin story of the latest would-be… See more →

There’s something to be said for a series whose primary draw is brutal violence, but whose creative energy is largely spent on byzantine plotting. Saw IV packs in the backstory, expands Jigsaw’s network of accomplices, and has enough twists and turns to make it almost impossible to follow, even if, like me, you’ve watched the previous three films in the preceding 24 hours. The first Saw made it clear that abandoning any expectation of plausibility… See more →

More than its predecessors, Saw III really leans into the torture porn classification, while at the same time somehow managing to be the first in the series to commit the cardinal sin of being boring. Does anyone really give a shit about drama between Jigsaw and his protégé? I genuinely thought they might start splicing in Real World-style confessionals. Also, I know the dude is on his deathbed, but I really wish Jigsaw would… See more →

Interesting to see what the same production crew from the first film could accomplish with quadruple the budget. It still feels small and stagey, like its two main locations aren’t part of any larger world, and it doubles down on the 1990s David Fincher by way of Spirit Halloween aesthetic, but at least it’s more cohesive. Director Darren Lynn Bousman’s music video experience is in evidence, and I often wondered if the editor was paid… See more →

I’ll give Saw a little more credit this time than I did on my first viewing years ago. The basic premise is the stuff of a decent popcorn thriller, Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell are mostly serviceable in their roles, and the central, grimy bathroom set—the only one purpose-built for the film—is a skin-crawling feat of extremely unsavory production design. But ironically, everything gets pretty crappy whenever we leave that bathroom. The cheap, generic sets… See more →

Equally unnerving as both genre exercise and political allegory.

Pretty incredible that the dark cloud hanging over John Landis’s segment (two kids paid under the table to work in illegal conditions were killed during production, as was the star) isn’t the most unwatchable thing in this movie. That would be the insufferably saccharine Steven Spielberg bit that follows it. George Miller and Joe Dante make valiant attempts to right the ship, but their parts still aren’t good enough to justify the whole, and the… See more →

For this, my 14th Ottawa International Animation Festival in 25 years, it occurred to me that I’ve been attending OIAF on and off for more than half of my life! I always make a point of seeing everything in the short film competition, which is the centerpiece of the fest, but my flight times didn’t fully cooperate with the festival schedule, so I had to miss one of the screenings, making this year’s accounting sadly… See more →

First half rules, second half drools.

I think this is the first chance I’ve had to see Ghost in the Shell with its original Japanese dialogue track, and watching with subtitles reinforced my previously noted view that this film is way too chatty for its own good.

Ghost’s set was largely unchanged from the one I saw last year—and I enjoyed it just as much a second time—so I won’t describe it again. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t make a note of how impressive Amon Amarth’s stage production was, especially for an opening band. The stage was bookended by three-story Viking statues. The drum riser sat atop a massive Viking helmet encasing video screens projecting eyes, fire, lightning, and… See more →

Apart from stock footage inserts, there isn’t a single scene in Cade: The Tortured Crossing that isn’t shot on green screen, and I kind of hope Neil Breen stays with that approach in future films. The 7th Guest aesthetic really works for him.

He does look more at home, though (to the extent that he ever looks at home anywhere), in the suburban Las Vegas locations he’s traditionally used than the alternately lavish and decayed… See more →

I knew right away that the arrival of Metallica’s …And Justice for All in my suburban home in June of 1989 was a pivotal moment. I didn’t even wait for my birthday party guests to disperse before sneaking up to my room to listen to it, even though its tone was decidedly at odds with the celebratory atmosphere. It was the darkest thing I’d ever been exposed to, forcing me to contemplate unvarnished truths about… See more →

It’s all true, obviously, and it saves its best joke for an impeccable closer, and maybe if we’re lucky it’ll be a meaningful feminist Trojan horse for a few people. But the whole thing is just entirely too on-the-nose, and no amount of ostensibly subversive mumblecore cachet behind the camera can outrun the movie’s prime directive of brand rehab for a multibillion dollar toy company.

The good news for Barbie fans is that my opinion… See more →

with special guest mads mikkelsen as elon musk

Like an 11-year-old boy on a Lucky Charms bender scribbled out a screenplay and then picked up the phone and hired legit Hong Kong action pros to make it. If anyone has ever shot anything more entertaining on location in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, I have yet to see it (and would desperately love to see it).

I’m not a superhero enthusiast, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Spidey, maybe because his origin story, while admittedly rife with the tiresome trappings of adolescent male power fantasy, is at its core a coming-of-age tale. In that tradition, 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse allows its Spider-Man, Miles Morales, to not only find himself, but also find his tribe: a variety of spider-heroes, each representing a different far-flung dimension. The demographically diverse influx of… See more →

May we all achieve Bob Flanagan’s level of self-knowledge and self-love, even if it ultimately fails to prepare us to confront death. Bob’s poem, “Why?,” is going to stay with me. “Because you always hurt the one you love.”

I was due for a trashy true crime brain drain, and this one seemed like it would fit the bill. I didn’t expect much from it, but I never could have imagined the story of an extramarital affair culminating in someone getting hacked to bits with an axe could be such a snooze. It’s at least three times as long as it needs to be, heavily padded with repetition, superfluous characters and details, and a… See more →

My first visit to the Foundry. The place has strong “waiting in line for a theme park attraction” vibes.

This show was my first visit to the First Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia, and I was immediately struck by the building’s gold brick interior, which I don’t think I’d ever seen in a church nave before:

The interior is buff-colored brick and sandstone and the pews are black walnut, exemplifying [Augustus] Sims’ architectural philosophy of honesty in building materials, eschewing plaster throughout. Stone carvings both inside and out were done by Alexander Milne Calder,… See more →

Another sold out Underground Arts show, and I’m still not taking my own advice and getting there early, so I didn’t get to see much more than the backs of a lot of heads. I was cranky about it at first, but even when you can barely see them, it’s impossible to stay cranky when White Reaper is doing their thing.