Gramps Goes to College

Donald James Parker has written no fewer than 18 evangelical Christian feature films since 2013, and he starred in most of them as well, including Gramps Goes to College. They say you should write about what you know, and Parker’s main character in this film—a retired computer programmer who played tennis as an undergrad and moves from South Dakota to Tennessee—is pulled directly from Parker’s own bio. Conspicuously fictional is the part where he goes back to college and routinely disrupts his biology class with incoherent creationist ramblings, causing his aggressively secular professor to be so bowled over by his towering intellect that she tries to seduce him before ultimately being won over to his righteous cause.

Gramps Goes to College is not unlike the better-known God’s Not Dead (also released in 2014), but without a single remotely capable filmmaker in sight. It’s also even more shameless, as its author-protagonist, not content to merely smother faculty and student body alike with his smug piety, includes in his crusade an intramural tournament in which he beats everyone at all the sports. It was a hoot to witness with a room full of fellow schlock devotees, but I’m not sure I’d put myself through it under other circumstances. Then again, I’ve wasted more than a few rainy days on godforsaken oeuvres like Parker’s, so more of these may well be in my future.