September 2005

On the Web

• Download My Store: Is e-commerce moving backwards?
• Shining: A trailer for The Shining, if it were a warm-hearted family comedy.
• Egg Song: A superbly animated Flash cartoon with a catchy little tune about eggs.
• MST3K Movie Poster Index: A collection of posters from every single movie featured on “Mystery Science Theater 3000.”
• A Not-To-Do-List: A big ol’ list of things not to do.
• Pentagram: Hillman Curtis profiles one of the world’s most… See more →

no segue needed
between discussions of oil
and killing the poor

back from the meeting
Ned’s jocund grin assured us
our moonshine would sell

A few weeks ago, Lego made their free Digital Designer software available to the public. It’s a kickass little 3D program that allows you to build virtual Lego models, share them online, and—this is the really cool part—order the physical Lego bricks that your creation would require to build in the real world. It’s a fantastic idea, but it got me thinking. With the tremendous success of the iTunes Music Store, whose wares are accessible… See more →

Another year, another CAmm Slamm. Baltimore’s premiere weekend moviemaking competition took place this past weekend, and Stan, Sutter, and I took a drive down to the Old Line State to help our Philly vs. Baltimore nemesis RedstarKGB make it happen. Little did we know we would be making the most ridiculous movie of our careers...

Well, I guess it wasn’t that much of a shocker.

CAmm Slamm is a 48-hour film competition in which competing… See more →

adamant about
being true to his namesake
Spock Jones had no friends

when we lived at sea
those were our halcyon days
before the gulls came

tonight we escape
this banal jerkwater burg
in my Ford Taurus

if you had even
a modicum of virtue
you’d give me those clogs

if you’ll fetch my bag
we’ll see if this pacemaker
is adventitious

let’s consider nukes
before we capitulate
to democracy

in my microwave
you’ll deliquesce into goo
die, Man-E-Faces!

Warhol’s detractors
were immured by his henchmen
in Brillo boxes

I understand that a strong community is important to you, even if a busy schedule and certain cultural disparities have kept me from truly being a part of it. I fully support your desire to have a block party every single weekend of the summer, to take over the streets with charcoal grills and picnic tables, Motown and soul. If I get annoyed at the noise sometimes, I remind myself that you are celebrating the… See more →

your hauteur may be
popular with the ladies
but you still have lice

we now constitute
a concerned parents quorum
I’ll buy the first round

corporate afflatus
subtle indie film reborn
as slapstick sitcom

I would have gotten
away with it if not for
those officious kids

your newest painting
ostentatious, trite, puerile
and I must have it

What’s that, you say? You’re an awesome, standards-based web designer with a bulging skillset and are looking for work in Philadelphia? Look no further than this, our recent Craigslist posting:

Pixelworthy in Philadelphia has a ton of work to do and is seeking very specific types of individuals—individuals who are first and foremost designers—people with a passion for the aesthetic and can execute attractive, user-centered design for business. We are not seeking programmers who dabble… See more →

his “iron stomach”
did not live up to its name
when he quaffed the bleach

preschool demagogue
reign of terror now ended
swings from the gallows

UK designer/illustrator/animator Brian Taylor (best known for his epic Rustboy) has launched a new site called Candykiller, “a collection of illustrations, design ideas, and assorted visual ramblings.” His mastery of a wide variety of styles is pretty astonishing, and there is abundant influence evident from the toys and illustrations of Gary Baseman, the noir comics of Charles Burns, and plenty of yesteryear’s pulp and kitsch.

The only disappointment here is that Taylor’s incredible talent has… See more →

farrago of pills
scattered across the table
on Christmas morning

listen, don’t cavil
about your job description
please, just bathe the corpse

mock my pink helmet
but you will bleed if you dare
deride my Vespa

I have owned a few web sites in my day, and like anyone who makes their work available to the public, I like to know the whos, how manys, from wheres, and so on, of the people checking out my stuff. Luckily for me and my fellow narcissistic publishers, there are plenty of stats packages out there that can inform us how many hits our sites have gotten, where our visitors are coming from, what… See more →

it was a sad year
for the mathletics program
trammelled by poachers

though I’d like to help
even my capacious truck
can’t hold all those whores