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The Imogen Poots Index

Twenty-eight weeks later, how close is this pandemic to ‘28 Weeks Later’?

COVID-19 has made much of the U.S. a remote workforce for 28 weeks now, prompting the obvious question, “How does this pandemic stack up against the one depicted in the 2007 horror film 28 Weeks Later?” In the film, a solid sequel to Danny Boyle’s classic 28 Days Later, the world is besieged by the Rage Virus, which launches everyone it infects into a mindless, murderous frenzy. (Some filmgoers might refer to the infected as zombies, but those filmgoers are philistines, and you can safely ignore them.) Our pandemic is perhaps best compared and contrasted with the one in 28 Weeks Later by putting ourselves in the shoes of one of the film’s protagonists, a teenage girl played by Imogen Poots. Spoilers ahead!

You are officially having a pandemic experience as bad as Imogen Poots’ pandemic experience if:

28 Weeks Later poster
  • The cabin where your parents are hiding is overrun by the infected, and your father makes a panicked escape and abandons your mother. Yikes!
  • You’re reunited with your father in a safe zone and he lies to you about how your mother died. Not cool, dad!
  • You sneak out of the safe zone to collect some things from your former home and find your mother there, alive and delirious. Whaaat?!
  • Your mom turns out to be the first known asymptomatic carrier of the virus. But when she forgives your father and seals it with a kiss, he becomes infected and promptly tears her to pieces. WTF, Dad!
  • Your dad’s ensuing rampage infects a ton of people and the safe zone quickly falls into chaos. This is almost as embarrassing as the time your dad, who is Robert Carlyle, danced naked in The Full Monty. Face palm!
  • Idris Elba orders the zone to be firebombed but you and your brother manage to escape with Rose Byrne and Jeremy Renner. A-list!
  • You think you’ll be able to keep a low profile by traveling on foot through the London Underground but your dumb infected dad finds you anyway and kills Rose Byrne. When he starts biting your brother, you’ve had enough and you gun your dad down. Take that, Dad!
  • You rendezvous at Wembley Stadium with Jeremy Renner’s helicopter pilot pal, who flies you to safety in France. Score!
  • Twenty-eight days later, continental Europe is overwhelmed by the virus, presumably because your brother got the asymptomatic gene from your mom and the virus from your bitey dad. Oops!

Give yourself a point for each of the items above that sounds pretty good right about now. If you score above 3, you are having a worse pandemic than Imogen Poots. Take that, Imogen Poots!

All posts in this series

Day 23

Notes from the bunker

I went for a bike ride early Sunday morning. It ended my longest indoor streak yet: five full days. I suppose my area of Brooklyn bustles more than most, but after reading about how everyone staying inside had given major cities the appearance of ghost towns, I expected a lot less activity. And more masks. The CDC’s guidance recently shifted to a recommendation that everyone cover their nose and mouth when going out. It makes… See more →

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Day 78

Notes from the bunker

I live in Philadelphia now. While I was still in Brooklyn, I aspired to get outside every day, but my stretches indoors got longer and longer. My last one was 11 days. I’m getting out much more regularly now, and it feels good, but it’s invariably an exercise in frustration. The latest CDC guidance says that surface transmission, while possible, is much less likely than transmission via respiratory droplets. Nevertheless, at least half of the… See more →

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Day 167

Notes from the bunker

I’m at a low boil pretty much all the time now. I think the past three weeks or so have been a little better, but I’ll still sometimes catch myself snapping at Leah over something impossibly trivial, or throwing my hands up in disgust and falling into a prolonged funk at the slightest annoyance. This week’s Republican National Convention, a substance-averse cult gathering which kept Hatch Act experts busier than ever, didn’t help. With the… See more →

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The Imogen Poots Index

Twenty-eight weeks later, how close is this pandemic to ‘28 Weeks Later’?

COVID-19 has made much of the U.S. a remote workforce for 28 weeks now, prompting the obvious question, “How does this pandemic stack up against the one depicted in the 2007 horror film 28 Weeks Later?” In the film, a solid sequel to Danny Boyle’s classic 28 Days Later, the world is besieged by the Rage Virus, which launches everyone it infects into a mindless, murderous frenzy. (Some filmgoers might refer to the infected as … See more →

Go to this post

Day 232

Notes from the bunker

Tomorrow is Election Day. The polls say the path to victory for the incumbent president is a very steep one. But after 2016, no one trusts the polls, no matter how many articles explain how pollsters have adjusted their methods since then. (For the record, 2016’s predicted margins didn’t give me anywhere near the level of confidence in a Democratic win that everyone else seemed to have.) Anyway, anything other than a landslide Election Day… See more →

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Day 248

Notes from the bunker

We passed a quarter million American COVID-19 deaths today. The virus is surging, hospitals are reaching capacity, the mortality rate is ticking back up, and the lockdowns are starting again. In a few days, an order goes into effect here in Philadelphia banning all public and private indoor gatherings until at least the end of the year. Gyms and museums are closing, indoor dining at restaurants and bars is halting. Outdoor gatherings are to have… See more →

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Day 304

Notes from the bunker

Nearly 4,000 Americans died of COVID-19 on January 6th, a new record that was all but completely ignored as our horrified gaze was averted by an even larger number of Americans laying siege to their own United States Capitol, egged on by none other than the president himself. In the week since, as the president has been banned from social media and grudgingly condemned the riot while refusing to accept responsibility for it, as cabinet… See more →

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Day 365

Notes from the bunker

On March 10, 2020, I attended what would be my last indoor public gathering in a long time, a US Air Guitar competition at Saint Vitus Bar in Brooklyn. I was ambivalent about going. We were still holding out hope that the coronavirus situation would be contained, but that hope was feeling more and more naive. “I love you,” I told my friends, “but I’m not touching you.” That seemed responsible. Masks weren’t a thing… See more →

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Day 472

Notes from the bunker

Leah and I have now been fully vaccinated for six weeks. During that time, restrictions around the country have loosened steadily, and even in indoor public spaces, masks are disappearing, as are plexiglass barriers and floor decals encouraging social distancing. We’ve had gatherings of family and friends in our home and attended them in others’ homes. We’ve hugged people. We’ve ridden on buses and trains. I spent a day in New York, my first since… See more →

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Day 536

Notes from the bunker

I’m in chronic funk territory again. Not the the good, George Clinton kind of funk, but the bad, “how can this many people be this reliably disappointing” kind of funk. The Delta variant has been in full bloom for weeks and ICU beds in some areas are reaching capacity again, making June’s steady drumbeat of reopening feel like a naive daydream. Masking indoors in public is back in vogue, not that it was gone for… See more →

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Day 779

Notes from the bunker

A commonly expressed example of American excess is the fact that we constitute just 5 percent of the world’s population but consume a quarter of its resources. We haven’t quite reached that level with our share of the world’s Covid deaths, but our current 15.8 percent stake is still a plenty potent argument for American exceptionalism, though obviously not the sort of argument the exceptionalists prefer to make. Our Covid death toll makes well over… See more →

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Day 1,001

Notes from the bunker

A few hours after my last post in this series back in May, L tested positive, as have many other friends and family members in the months since. As someone who still has yet to contract Covid, I may now be in the minority among the people I know. Nevertheless, between staying on top of my vaccine regimen and absorbing the zeitgeist, my day-to-day caution is almost back to pre-pandemic levels. I usually carry a… See more →

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Day 1,376

Notes from the bunker

I’ve stared so intently at so many rapid antigen tests over the last few years, trying to discern if an impossibly faint second line was present, that I was entirely unprepared for how crystal clear my first positive result would be.

Covid-19 finally came for me on December 2, 2023, with aches, severe sinus congestion, and an obnoxious cough fully materializing three days later. Since all this arrived on the heels of a negative test… See more →

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